!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
It's been two days since I've gotten out of the hospital, well, kind of. I don't know. My mind is such a blur that I cannot even count how many days it's been. The cramps are still here, and it seems the more that I move, the worse it gets. So, I'm obviously trying to stay as still as possible. I only get up when I ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
People have histories. That's a given. It's called the past, and most have told me that people who are in the past and things that are in the past will remain in the past. If that's true, why does Karissa keep coming back, and confessing all of these things?

Time and time again, I've heard that "she is his past, and ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!

I thought that this morning, I would wake up feeling not so gloomy. Not as gloomy as yesterday. Figured maybe after some sleep I'd get over all of this. I'd get over Karissa continuing to call the house. I'd get over the fact that there is a greater chance of Kris not ever loving me again, than there is of him ever ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
Do I not deserve happiness? Do I not deserve to laugh, to smile? Do I only deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life, and feel nothing but misery and pain? Are the people who have come through my life right, that I deserve nothing good - and only bad? Because I'm not pretty enough? Or smart enough? Or "cool" ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
So I was sleeping last night, of course, and it was (to me) a pretty bad nightmare. I've been told adults cannot have nightmares, well, I'm here to tell you I can have nightmares. This one wasn't a nightmare, but because of what happened - it was definitely a nightmare.

Kris joined the army, as he is planning to do. ( Read more... )

 !! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
I know that it's my own fault that people won't leave me alone, but I wish people knew when to just stop asking questions. Yes, I told people about what was going on, and yes, I didn't tell them the entire story - so now they are riding my ass like I'm some kind of pack mule and it's driving me crazy. Can they not ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
It seems as though every day that goes by, Kris and I are slowly becoming closer all over again. Last night was another night that we spent together in a very intimate way - and he made me laugh like I've never laughed before. We were talking about intimacy and getting physical and he says to me "Honestly - to a guy ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
He just doesn't understand why I question everything in the way that I do now. He doesn't understand why I cannot just accept what is, and move on from there. So much has happened, it's hard to just accept what is, and move on from what's happened. I know that I will, but, it's only been a few days - I cannot just ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
Christmas is right around the corner, and I thought that maybe this year, for once, I would have a good Christmas - but the way things have been this past while, I don't think it is going to be a good Christmas. I have a feeling I'm just going to be depressed all over again, though I don't want to be, but everything ( Read more... )

!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
I'm in love with him. There is no doubting that. It took me far too long to realize that he is the one that I've loved, and always have loved. It took me too long to realize that he is my very first love, and that I've never truly known love before him. Is that what made this all complicated, and messed up? He says ( Read more... )